A short break to share something

Ghosthostblue asked a question of the forums a while ago.. And I delayed and hedged in my response.  I finally tried to put my thoughts together, and sum them up as best I could.  And I thought I might share it with you.

Here's the question, if you haven't read it.

"You've begun to picture an md story where absolutely anything can be done to/with any woman, but for now will only be done to/with one woman, the female protagonist. Alter her body, alter her personality, alter her proclivities, make her struggle against the tide or fall right into it, bliss her out, torture her with the changes, make her bi or gay, make her brilliant or idiotic, blatantly whorish or more crafty in lovemaking, give her special abilities or more realistic ones, change her slowly and almost imperceptibly or change her in sudden flashes... Anything.

What's it going to be for you as a writer? What do you hope for as a reader? Like, time to create a super bimbo or something else? Want to keep your playground slow and subtle, make it wham-bamish, make it tighter and more plausible, go for the sudden wow factor?

Added layer of possibility/complexity: It's her repressed desires and buried adolescent fantasies being unleashed. What happens could be what some part of her secretly wishes would happen to herself."

I still find this terribly difficult to answer. But as a well phrased open ended question it does deserve one.

What do I hope for as a reader?  Or rather.. What do I hope for as a character?  My own proclivities, my own desires terribly corrupt what I might consider as a writer.

I suppose what I would find the hottest, is a slow, subtle shift.. One that the woman can feel, can see happening.  Letting her look inward and see the changes as they occur.

A woman who enjoys the feeling, revels in it.  And indeed might join in the fun, provoking ideas and things to do to those around them.  I would see them as a pair of lovers, one who happened to have perfect control over the other.  Exercised in such a way as to leave her feeling totally controlled, altered, a plaything.  While retaining enough of her thoughts to see it happen, feel it happen, and join in the fun.

I like the idea of the woman being still able to surprise her master, her controller.  Having enough free will to titillate.. So that despite all the women around him he could control, he really prefers her.  The others he might use and change to punish or debase, but his desire is reserved for her.

I'm reminded of the stories Surrounding A Brief Career, what did he call himself?  The Retaliator?
Or what was it.. Did you hear the one about the blonde?

There is also the idea of a distant control, unknown.  For that reason the magic thunder story, the first one, is probably one of my all time favorites.  She is changing, she can feel it, she is running, but so aroused by it at the same time.  All while fighting it, she herself is gaining power, but still controlled by this mysterious external force.

Important for me is always that the woman enjoy it.  Overtly or secretly.  She must find the experience pleasurable.  I have no patience of stomach for pain.  But that said, the fight, the struggle.  So delectable.  She might beg for it to stop, while secretly feeling she deserves it, or wants it, or simply.. Needs it..

I hope you find my response of interest..

The Heat and Fury

I stood as Lisa did, all of a sudden hesitant.  I had done what I meant to do, but now was unsure.  What would happen, what would the reaction be?

As it happened, I had no cause for worry.  Lisa blinked as if trying to clear the fog from her eyes, and found them focused on the girl before her.  I heard her breath catch in her throat, beholding such a vision.  I watched her take a staggering step, then another, placing herself before the object of her desires.

She shuddered, reaching out to brush the hair from Kim's face.  As the poor girl looked as if she was about to faint, or flee, from that approaching apparition of her suppressed sexuality.  The whole room held it's breath.  As if any noise might disturb the spell.

Slowly, so slowly, as if afraid she might break the delicate goddess before her.  Lisa leaned in, and gently, oh so gently, brushed her lips in a shuddering kiss.

And with that the dam was broken.  The two pulled together tighter and tighter, mouths seeking, licking, kissing, sucking.  The air filled with moans, groans, passion and lust as I heard a silence shattering catcall break out from the crowd.  Lisa's hands slid up the shirt of the object of her fixation to cup the soft mounds beneath the cloth, and as she did a shuddering gasp went through the both of them, some deep taboo broken, some hidden desire unlocked, as Kim's hands came up to grip the wrists of the slender lust filled fanatic.  Not to restrain, but encourage.

Within moments there was flesh.  Clothes shoved aside, buckles unfastened, skin exposed, nipples thrust into the chill night air as Lisa slid to her knees, kissing trail down Kim's quaking flesh to fumble with her belt buckle.

Shaken from my own fascination I stopped her.  With a word that frenzy of lust, that depraved slide into near public fornication was halted.  And Lisa froze in slumped to the floor.

Kim took a moment to notice, took a moment to notice that her partner had arrested her advances.  A moment to realize that it was over.  A moment to realize that her lust, that had finally been released, was about to go unsatisfied.

Her eyes went to me, and her mouth opened, I could see her thoughts, See her about to beg me, beg me to give it back to her.  Beg me to let her feel what she needed, was meant, to feel.  But before the poor girl could spill her heart to the world, I stopped her too.  With sadness, with peace, I pinned her with my eyes, and with a glance informed her that there were more eyes on her than mine.

She came back to herself then, realized the state of her clothing.  And with a last sad look back she adjusted herself, and retreated back into the crowd.  As I returned my attention to the girl on the floor, I lost sight of her.  But I was told later, that she disappeared for the better part of an hour, to a bedroom upstairs, before anyone saw her again.

I helped Lisa back to her feet, and returned her to her chair.  But now the taboo was broken.  More people were calling out more ideas.  The mood was once again charged with arousal, with lust.  A few couples disappeared off into the recesses of the cabin, and the ideas started pouring in.

Make them orgasm.  Make them strip.  Make them Fuck!  The ideas just became darker and dirtier, the more the calls rang out.  But at that time, my morals were still more or less intact, and I didn't give any serious credence to going along with most of those suggestions.

But I was not completely immune.  I was breathing hard.. As hard as poor Kim as she had staggered off to god knows where.  And really all I wanted to do was pull Daniel off into some dark corner and abuse my control in every way I could imagine.  But there was still an audience.  And still a crowd of docile little puppets who had trusted me with their evenings.  And I really didn't want to give up that feeling yet.  That feeling of control, that feeling of power.  Of all these people hanging on my whim.

It was intoxicating.

I was drunk on the attention.  And more aroused than I had been in years.  So I did something naughty.

I gave them pleasure.

I started to talk, started to let my words lead my way, stopped thinking, started feeling, and led them down a terribly tempting path.  I spoke softly at first, descriptively, letting them feel the concepts and sensations that I longed to feel.  I spoke gently, guiding them, leading them, letting them feel that pulse deep within themselves.  I spoke eagerly, pulling them onwards to that promise of pleasure off in the distance, listening to their voices start to mewl, start to groan, as they started to shift in their chairs.

I talked, and talked, and led them, pulled them, dragged them, stroked them with my words.  Watched them buck, watched them groan under my expressions, my similes, my metaphors.  I felt my own body ache, as they felt what I longed to feel.  I watched hands caress cock stiffening within denim confines.  I watched fingers tease over slits covered by fabric.  I watched hips buck, hands grope, breasts heave.

I spoke.

And they answered.

Not with words, but with passion.  Animilistic grunts.  Mouths gaping, licking, sucking on air.  Gasping and groaning.  As my voice rose in passion so did theirs, the tempo accelerated, the air vibrated with lust, with need, with gutteral groans.

I felt like i was conducting a symphony, of lust, of need.  My voice rose to a crescendo, and I let them rise with me.  Every twitch, every gasp, echoing in my head as she screamed and moaned and came for me, fell for me, tumbled into ecstasy for me.  For my words.  For my voice.

And I fell with them.

Left Turn

I looked around my ring.  My little kingdom of willing supplicants, and considered my options.  There was Kailen of course, but glance to her boyfriend showed hesitation and a bit of worry.  So I moved on to the other girls.  There were a few.  But in the end I didn't know any of them.  And in those days I was a bit more hesitant to play with others heads without their consent.  And I wasn't yet far gone enough to violate those tentative morals.

I looked out over the audience, and caught the eye of a pretty young thing who was watching eagerly, excitedly.  Kim I think.  She was a bit of a larger girl, but with well placed curves.  She wouldn't be posing for any men's magazines any time soon, but had those assets that men tend to go for.

To be perfectly blunt, she was overweight, but had Huge tits.

Yes I mean tits, when they are that big, breasts doesn't cover it.

I gestured her forward, and she walked into my ring with a nervous anxiety.  As if stepping into that hallowed ground was some sort of violation.  As if the middle of that ring that been transformed from shack by a lake, to holy sanctuary of some long forgotten god of lust and sleep.

I asked if she liked girls.  And apparently such bluntness was unexpected, or she hadn't admitted it, or at least not to this crowd.  Because she started rather suddenly, and her eyes darted left and right as if waiting for her parents to leap out and condemn her to a life of convents and nunneries.  I smiled and told her it was alright if she did, or didn't, I just wanted to be sure she wouldn't mind what I was about to do.

I watched her eyes widen at those words.  What I was about to do.  As if her imagination had seized on something, and was running with it.  She froze.  Like a deer on a highway, staring into my eyes.  Unable to move, unable to answer.  She couldn't say yes, too afraid to admit it.  She couldn't say no, and miss out on her chance, this chance, whatever it might be.

I smiled, and whispered it was ok.  Thanked her gently for being so kind as to play along, letting the crowd hear, and watched her nervousness settle, as the excitement started to take it's place.  I stood her before Lisa in the circle, and knelt beside the sleeping waif.  Whispering in her ear, just loudly enough for Kim to hear, but too quiet for those watching from the audience to make out what naughty things I might be saying.  Leaving it up to their fertile imaginations.

I watched Kim begin to shake, with excitement, with fear, I don't know.  And I watched the audience lean in.  Eager to catch some glimmer, some hint of what I might be saying, as I spoke my intent to that slender girl who had so recently earned my disdain.

I spoke gently, watching her eyes open to stare at the girl before her.  I spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the beauty she was suddenly aware of.  I spoke firmly, weaving my circle around her thrice, guiding her thoughts where I wanted them to go.

I heard her breathing quicken, felt her pulse pick up.  Watched her eyes flutter up to the face of the goddess before her, down to the soft mounds of her chest, the delta of her thighs.  Heard her sigh in bliss and want, watched her hands clench of unclench at her sides.  I spoke more rapidly, picking up her excitement, her need as I looked about the room.  Saw Lisa's boyfriend staring back at me with a smirk, saw Kim's eyes fixed on the quivering girl before her, saw the staring heat of a room enthralled by what was about to happen.

I spoke her lust, I spoke her dreams, I spoke her darkest most unfulfilled desires, and then I spoke one word, and set her loose.

Hesitant Steps

I was standing in the middle of a ring.

Unofficial though it may be, no one had dared come near.  The volunteers in an arc in front, and the audience in an arc in back.  Unsure where to begin I helped each of those who had slumped forward in the audience to their feet, and walked them to the front row.  Those who were sitting there fled my approach, before I needed to say a word, make a gesture, anything.  All of a sudden they couldn't wait to see to my needs, out of fear, submission, awe, I don't know.

Soon I was alone, standing in a ring of people hanging off my every word.  People who couldn't help but take them in as gospel, couldn't help listen, and be influenced by my merest whim.

It was exhilarating.

People who know of my kink have often asked why I don't make a career of it.  Why I don't put on shows, or offer therapy, or get licensed.

That night is my answer.

I know full well that I couldn't handle it.  Couldn't handle that feeling without giving in to temptation.  This is meant to forever be recreation for me.  As a professional I would violate whatever paper ethics I might establish within a week, and be thrown out in disgrace in no time at all.

I stood, and suddenly felt unsure.  I hadn't planned for this, hadn't expected it.  The air was so charged, so electric.  I could Smell the sex in the air.  But I couldn't delve into those depths right away.  What if the subjects balked?  I was so.. Hesitant.  All of a sudden I couldn't decide what to do.

So I decided to go with some classic tropes.  Things I had seen, had heard of.  It was hardly what the audience was expecting at that point, but I couldn't give them what they wanted.  Not yet.

A boy grew cold, shivering as a girl grew hot, shedding a sweater to cheers.  A boy danced to some background music as a terrible hip hop star as a girl ground and bobbed as Brittany Spears.  We went through some ridiculous suggestions, miscounted fingers, silliness and fun.  Shying away from that feeling that had filled the room a half hour before.  But people were having fun, enjoying themselves, and that was enough.

The mood changed when Kailen got up to sing.

I can't recall exactly what the suggestion was.  But she was performing for some reason, and stood to belt out some song or another.  The room was laughing before she started, as she had followed some terrible performances.  But I saw an odd look from her boyfriend, as if he was laughing at me instead.  I didn't understand until she opened her mouth.

I said before that I can sing.  It's true, I can.  I have quite a good voice, though I don't perform all that well.  But Kailen.  I still don't know how she didn't end up a professional.  She sung something a little cheesy, some Disney song I think.  But from her lips it didn't sound that way.  It sounded.. deep.. moving.. And not a little bit, Hot.  Her face lit up as she sang, she glowed.

It was a beautiful moment.

And as she finished and sat down, the spell was broken.  We had listened to the whole song, without realizing it, and now it was over.  The laughter was gone, the music was gone.  And the room stood silent again.

Once again I was at a loss.  I hesitated.

And someone called out something that rather turned the direction of the evening.  "Make them strip!"

It was terrible, cliched, and terribly sexist.

But it sparked more than a few imaginations.

Suddenly there were more ideas, more suggested.. suggestions.  And all were sexual.  It was as if the flood gates had been opened and everyone's imaginations were running wild.  I fought them off for a short time, until Lisa's boyfriend pulled me over and whispered in my ear.

He told me to have her make out with a girl.. That she wouldn't mind, and neither would he.  And well, while my conscience had held me back from all those other ideas.  I have to say, when it came to her?  I didn't really care.

I grinned at him, and stepped back into my ring.

A First Time Induction

I started a bit hesitantly.  Half remembered bits of inductions read years ago.  Filling in the gaps with whatever felt right at the time, trying to keep the words flowing and even.  I sort of.. let my mind go blank as my mouth rattled through imagery, feelings, sounds, hitting on each sense as talking, always talking I circled and spun my words about those people before me.

I started gaining confidence as I went, as the expressions faded from mocking grins, to bored stares, to blank vacancy, to half lidded distraction.  They stopped waiting to laugh, and started listening.  Stopped listening and started waiting for it to work.  Stopped waiting for it to work and started just simply.. Being..

As I spoke I watched one by one as their heads slumped forward.  Chins pulled down to their chests.  Backs slumping, posture settling.  I watched them relax, as I had once relaxed.  Watched them let down their guards and follow my words.

When the last of their eyes closed I let my own wander.  I spoke softly and firmly, guiding them deeper and deeper, and I looked around at my audience.

A few heads had slumped..  A few had wandered off bored.  But most.. Most were staring in wrapt fascination at those slumped forms before me.  I took in those wide eyed stares, that rapid breathing.. Those.. Strained jean fronts.  And I realized that these  people found this as erotic as I did.  Perhaps it was the difference of my voice, my methods, my own throbbing arousal that made this different from some comedy stage show in a lounge act, I'm not sure.  But the air just.. Pulsed.. With sexual tension.

I grinned to myself, guiding them deeper, but no one noticed.  No one saw me, no one was looking at me.  They only had eyes for those souls slumped before me, those few brave people who had volunteered, having no idea they were about to become such a focus of lust for the rest of the room.

I stood.. Shaky on my own legs, nervous, needy.. And went around to each of them in turn.  I stood before them, and my words leading slowly woke them each in turn.  Letting them stare into my eyes, letting them fall deeper and deeper, letting their world fade to only me as I talked them down, down, falling, sinking into my eyes.  With each surrender, my own arousal grew.  With each surrender, the excitement in the room grew.  And with each surrender, my hold over them grew.

And when I got to those few, those special few that I remember still, I admit it was different.  I watched Kailen's eyes dim with a smile.  I gently held her cheek as she slumped, softly, grinning to her chest.  Feeling protective, loving, caring.  Like a wise owner of a perfect little toy.  Daniel's eyes looked up into mine, blankly, obedient.  But I saw a spark of lust, of realization, perhaps because I wanted to.  But when I got to Lisa.  I felt only triumph.  As her eyes closed my mind was already running ahead.  Filled with revenge, with torment, with lust..

And the night was just beginning.

Finding a Voice

Did you ever listen to yourself on a recording?  I know this is a common observation, but it's always strange to hear how you sound to everyone else.  Everyone hates how they sound in a recording, it's practically a given.

What I never understood then, is why people always tell me they love my voice.  I can sing, I know.. But when I listen to myself, I always think I sound awkward.  But somehow everyone else seems to love it.  I can tell you I suppose that even without hypnosis I've driven people wild just whispering in their ear.  I get no small thrill out of doing that, let me tell you.

I say this to try and explain where I'm coming from, since otherwise this next bit might sound.. Strange.  There is very little "special" about me.

I'm not hot.. Never have been, likely never will be.  Though on occasion here I may allude to my gorgeousness, you can be sure that the passage in question is one of those fictional bits I mentioned would come up.  I'm pretty enough, not unattractive certainly, but just one of those who blends into the background and often escapes notice.

I'm smart, certainly.  But not so smart that I'm really among those gifted few.  Just smart enough to know how dumb I am.  For those of you cursed with the same degree of intelligence as I, you know what I mean.

That said, I think everyone has something special about them, that sets them apart from the crowd.  In my case those things are a bit more subtle than with others.  Sometimes I admit I wish that my noticeable qualities were a bit larger, protruding, and more obvious if you get my drift (yes I'm saying I wish my tits were bigger, so sue me).  But in my case you might not even see them at all, not unless you stop and talk to me, and even then not unless you get to know me far more intimately.

There are three, I think.  You can write this off as vanity, and quite possibly it is.  But these are things told to me over and over by people over the years, and not things I picked out about myself (if they were I would have gone with my smile, how cheesy is that?)

Firstly, and least known I think, at least to those who know me in my regular life, is my mind.  No I don't mean my intelligence.  I mean that I tend to think differently from most.  My job is making intuitive leaps and finding solutions to issues, and while I hate it, I am actually quite good at it.  I understand the larger picture, but can't stand details.  And while I wish I could shut it off, I tend to see things about people too.

I wish I didn't.. But far too often, I can look at a person, or talk to them for a few minutes, and know so well what makes them tick.. What makes them.. drip.. Yes I'm saying I have a talent for reading peoples fetishes.  I can see it, behind the empty words and fake smiles.  I can see those dark thoughts that twist their minds down pathways they wish they wouldn't go.  And I'm quite good at using it.

I excel at putting up those facades myself.  In acting, speaking, exuding the role of ways of thought that run entirely counter to my own.  Which is strange, because I rarely do it.

I don't spend my life false facing.  I am quite honest about almost everything, almost all the time.  I just avoid details I'd rather not discuss.  So it's rare that a person really sees.. Just how different I can be.

The second is my eyes.  I know, cheesy again right?  I don't mean in the typical pretty blue eyes sort of way.  And the only people who have really told me that I have great eyes are those I've hypnotized.  No I didn't tell them to think that.

As described by them, I apparently have.. Intense.. Eyes.  Deep eyes.. I don't do, whatever it is I do consciously, but somehow it comes out.  Somehow.. watching their eyes fog, fade, close.. Must bring it out of me.  Again something you wouldn't notice unless you got to know me, very, very well.

The third.. As you may have guessed, is my voice.  I don't claim to understand what it is about my voice that people like.  But I have always had some way.  Some way of framing words, some way of describing sentences, some way of placing just the right emphasis.. That has people hanging off every word I say.

It doesn't come across in public speaking, nor in lectures or conversations.  But when I have someones attention, when I'm passionate about what it is I'm talking about.. People just can't seem to stop listening.  I can talk about science, politics, books, tv, or just what happened that day.  And people just never seem to think to interrupt, to ask a question, or indeed look away.

And I must admit.. I get quite a rush out of that, too.

I feel foolish for spending so much time talking about myself.  Especially where I left off my story.  But as I was writing it I realized that it might sound strange, if I didn't explain where I was coming from.  So my apologies for the delay.  I'll get right back to it.

Friendly Persuasion

I can't say I remember everything perfectly.  It has after all been many years.  And the night was already a bit of a blur to begin with..  But what I do remember is deciding that if she wanted people to see what I was into, then I'd give her what she wanted.

She got the group going, and while usually not such a sucker for peer pressure, in this case I suppose I didn't really want to fight.  Let them think they were manipulating me into it.  Let them think I was going with the crowd.  In the end, they'd understand.

A few people volunteered, and I got the crowd to taunt Lisa for not stepping up herself, after instigating this little escapade, so before long, I had a few people sitting before me nervous, anxious, and a quiet crowd hanging on my words behind me.

I don't remember all of the volunteers, but a few do stand out in my mind.  As you might guess, I've changed all the names to protect the guilty, though the descriptions are accurate. 

Lisa, a willowy brunette with wide eyes, a wide mouth, and a condescending gaze.  I think at the time she had it died red, though that may have been a few years later.  She's never been curvy in the least, not generally my type, but she wasn't bony, and was pretty enough if you like that in a girl.

Daniel, who's the only male volunteer that I remember.. Probably because I had a bit of a crush on him.  He used to date Lisa, a while before this occurred, but she dumped him for another friend of ours.  I did mention that I didn't much like her right?  In any case, Daniel was sort of an odd duck.  Ginger, freckled.. quite smart, but made terrible decisions.  Easily lead.. He went from one serious relationship to another, often with girls he didn't even like, because he was just too nice to break up with them.  Women walked all over him, but somehow he was still a womanizer..  I know, it makes no sense to me either.  In recent years he had been working labour jobs, and the time outdoors had given him such heavy freckles around his chest and shoulders it looked almost like a tan.  And the time at physical labour and given a well defined body.. a rare thing among the boys I was around..

Enough about him.. The third volunteer I remember..  She was special.. I had a hell of a crush on her as well.  I think everyone who met her did.  We can call her.. Kailen.  She was, and is, beautiful, as well as a kind hearted and generally sweet person.  As I try and describe her I find that nothing really stands out as the reason.. the cause of what made her so striking.. It was just, how everything fit together.  She was average height, long sandy brown hair, with clear brown eyes.  She had clear skin, perfect skin actually, and a soft kind face.  I think everyone who knew her was just a little bit in love with her..  And as it happened, she also had a fabulous singing voice.  She's married now.. With a beautiful baby boy who I've never met, and I wish her much happiness.

There were others.. Friends of Kailen's, of Daniel's.. People who I had never seen before and never have since, people who's faces and names are a complete blank to me, but these 3 were the ones I knew, the ones I cared about, and the ones I remember still.

I was hesitant, shy at first, with such an audience.. Especially with such a buildup.  If I couldn't manage anything, it wouldn't be much of a show, and I'll admit I was quite worried about making an ass of myself.  It had been a while after all, since I had tried to hypnotize anyone, and in fact I hadn't had much luck then.  But I had been hypnotized, many times, and I thought maybe I understood better now, and more, I understood these people..  Knew what made them tick..

So I started to talk...

Temptation Rears

So.. I wonder how many people suffered through my little bout of introspection.

Yes that was my evil plan, lure you in with stories on sexual exploits and hypnotic rapture, then make you listen to me whine about my issues.

Well I suppose it's only fair that if you are still paying any attention, I tell you a story that might be a little more interesting to people other than myself.

You might have wondered, reading what I've posted so far, how i got from Adam, to where I am now.  How I got from not wanting to touch hypnosis any further, to my current mess.

Well it's fairly complicated, and also very simple.  Temptation..  It starts back when I was still with Adam, and feeling very confused, and caught up in the whole thing.  I told one of my "friends" at the time about it, or some of it at least.  I put friend in quotes because frankly, I don't think she's actually capable of being anyone's friend.  But that's besides the point.  Lisa, my friend, was a bit out there herself, on the scale of sexual normalicy.

I'm not privy to all the details of what went on, but I know she wore a collar constantly, and her boyfriend and her were into some D&S things.. I caught her calling him master in public when they thought I couldn't hear on more than one occasion.  She also had  tendency to make out with the nearest thing with tits whenever she got drunk.  What exactly that says about her preferences I'll leave up to you to decide..

In any case the point is that Lisa was aware of my little.. Kink.  And wasn't a shy person about her own, or really anyone else's sexual habits.

All these things came together to make one hell of a temptation for me, one night not that long after Adam and I broke up.

A mutual friend had invited both of us, as well as many others, to a cabin her family owned a few hours into the interior.  When I say cabin, I mean house barely held together with plywood, sitting on the shore of a lake.  More of a run down summer house than a cabin really, as it certainly wasn't isolated, with several neighbors within 50 feet or so.

In any case..  In that place, surrounded by strangers and friends, Lisa decided to speak up and inform everyone of my fetish..  And drunk 20 year olds being drunk 20 year olds, I was quickly roped into trying to put on a show for them..

And looking into Lisa's eyes.. those wide taunting eyes, that had just betrayed my trust to all these people.. I found, I didn't really want to fight, That hard..