His Birthday

He spoke, and I listened.  I followed along with a simple induction, nervous, terrified, excited.  He wasn't all that good at it then, but it didn't really matter.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was an exceptionally good subject.

It took a few minutes, or a half hour, I'm not really sure exactly.  In any case, before long I wasn't really listening anymore.  I was just relaxing, sort of aware that he was talking, but it didn't really matter.

I remember how much I enjoyed drifting.  How wonderful it felt.  And how his voice drifted across the sweet serene bliss.  I knew how I enjoyed it, and wanted to feel it again.  I know I agreed to things.. triggers.. so he could bring me back. 

But I didn't care. 

It felt too good.

When I woke, he looked at me expectantly, as if wondering when I would get angry.  But I didn't know what I was supposed to be angry about.  I sat up, and asked him what was going on.  To be honest I had expected to wake up naked, or horny.  I expected something more.. immediate from him.

I asked him what he had done, what he was planning on doing.

And he smiled at me.

Not a sweet little boy smile, but a wicked, dominant smile.  The smile of someone who knew he had gotten what he wanted, and that no one was going to stop him.

I realized a moment later what was going on.  I had called him master.

I started, demanded an explanation..  But when it comes out in a soft respectful voice, suffixed by master.. It was probably hard for him to take me seriously.

In any case he certainly didn't.  His mouth moved, words washed over me, and I was back in that place.  That calm seductive bliss.  Where nothing mattered.

I knew he was talking.  I knew he was having his way with my head.. My thoughts.. I knew it.  But I didn't care.

When I opened my eyes, everything was totally normal.  I was on my knees, topless, and he was sitting on the couch, leaning back with that grin on his face.. That confident, cocky grin that said he knew he was in control.

I shuffled over to him, unbuttoned his pants, and fished out his rapidly hardening cock.  Without a word I leaned over his lap, and began to go down on him.  I licked, I sucked, I stroked.  Because that's what I always did.  That's what I did every night.  It was perfectly normal.  There was nothing sexual, or strange, or wrong about it.  It was just what needed to be done.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who found it rather strange.  Because after only a minute or so, I started back awake, realizing that I had drifted off, to find a burning hunger filling my body.

I wanted him.  Wanted his cock, his .. cum.. more than I had ever wanted anything before.  I pushed his arms aside as they tried to fondle my breasts.  I pushed him back against the couch, and swallowed him whole.  He tried to get up, and i shoved him back down.  I tugged and massaged, slurping up and down his shaft, desperate for him to release.  I released him long enough to shout at him to cum for me, tears streaming down my face in need, jerking him so fast it made my arm burn.

And then I was sitting across from him.  And I felt nervous... frightened, excited.  I was topless, my chest exposed to the cool air.  And he was... exposed, as well.

I wasn't sure what was going on.  Why was I sitting there without a shirt on.. What was that thing poking out of this boys pants.  For that matter, who was this boy?

He asked how I was feeling.  And I told him I was cold, and confused.  I asked who he was.  He said it didn't matter, and asked if he could touch me.

I couldn't think of a reason why not, so I told him it was all right.  For some reason he seemed to want to fondle my chest.  I looked down, confused as to why he would want to.  He cupped the mounds on my front, and ran his fingers over the dark points.  And suddenly I felt.. really good.

I let out a little moan, and he asked if it felt good.  I told him that it did, and he smiled a strange smile, and asked if I wanted to feel more.  I nodded eagerly, smiling back at him.

He knelt next to me, sliding in behind me.  His hands roamed further, caressing, tugging, and I drifted in a sea of pleasure.  It felt so good, feeling his hands on me.  Why had I never felt this before..  I couldn't think of why.

His hands slid down, into my panties.. touching.. caressing.. I couldn't think of a reason to stop him.  I mean, why would I?  If it felt good, why not let him.  And god did it feel good.  I panted, I moaned, pushing back against him my arms reaching back to pull his head into my neck.  I could barely breathe, it felt so good.

Things started to escalate.. I felt better, and better, as if approaching something, something wonderful.  And he leaned down, whispering in my ear.

He asked, softly.. If I wanted to make him feel good too.  I just felt so good, and he was causing it.  I wanted to return the favor, but didn't know how.  I nodded ok, not able to think of a reason why not.

He gestured down to his lap, telling me that if I licked and sucked on the thing there, it would make him feel good too.  I smiled, and lowered my head to his lap, softly licking.  It was a strange thing.. all hot, and hard, but soft at the same time. 

I softly sucked on the tip, and took the moaning I heard from above me as encouragement, started to lick, and nibble, and suck.  Slowly getting more comfortable with the act.

He reached down to caress my chest as I made him feel good, and I moaned around the soft but firm cap filling my mouth.

Something strange started to happen.  Despite wanting to make him feel good.. Despite the pleasure from him fondling my chest.  I started to slow down.  I was having trouble focusing, trouble thinking.  The more I liked, the harder it was to think.  The more I sucked, the more my thoughts wandered, grew foggy..  Finally he tensed, bucked, and some strong taste filled my mouth.. But before I could even swallow, everything faded to black.

When I opened my eyes it was with a gasp.  I was leaning back against him on the couch.  I was naked.  I went to ask him where my clothes were, but I couldn't get it out.  A wave of pleasure rocked me, dazing me, as his fingers rolled my nipples. A hand was in my lap.. Teasing.. Caressing.

I thrust up into it.. so close was I.. So eager for more pleasure.  But he stalled, teased, keeping me on edge.

I felt him playing with my breasts, my clit, I was so close.. But couldn't get there, couldn't get over the edge.  No matter how I tried, how I writhed.

And then he started to talk.

He asked if I wanted to cum.. Needed to cum.. He held me on the edge, making me gasp and writhe.  I told him I wanted to, I asked him to let me.. But he wouldn't.  I begged and begged, but he asked if I needed it, how badly I needed it.. What I would do for it.

I hated him.  I loved him.  I didn't care I just wanted that orgasm.  Wanted that pleasure.  Needed it, craved it.  But somehow I couldn't cum.  Nothing he did, nothing I did, would get me there.

I needed it, I couldn't stand it.  I begged, I promised.  Anything he wanted.  And he kept asking.  What would I do.  Would I suck his cock.. Yes.. would I be his Slut.. Yes.. Anything..  Would let him put me into a trance whenever he wanted?  I started.. struggling, trying to resist.. but it felt so good. 
I said no...
I said no..
I said Yes

He told me to cum.

And I did..

Oh god I did..

I came, and came.. as he whispered in my ear.. Talking me down.. deeper.. deeper.. deeper..

And everything was bliss..

I made him promise after that.. That we wouldn't play with hypnosis anymore.

He agreed, probably terrified that I might start shouting rape at any moment, and we moved on.

Things went on like that for a while, we were a normal couple.  Fumbling in backseats, making a clumsy progression through a sexual awakening.  I learned that I actually rather enjoyed giving him a blowjob.  And even when awake I thuroughly enjoyed him playing with my breasts.  Though to be honest most of the time he was doing it I was remembering.. that time..

Things went on like that for a while.  And things were good.. Until his birthday.

You see he had asked a few times, about what we had done.  If I was still into it.  If it still excited me..  And I had put him off.  Told him I didn't want to talk about it. 

And it was true.  I didn't.

But truth be told it Did still excite me.  I was just worried.  Worried about what could happen, how far he would take it.  And above all.. That I might enjoy it too much.

But I gathered my courage, and I told him, for his birthday.. He could try again.  He could do whatever he wanted with me, as long as we didn't have intercourse.

The date crept up fast.. And all too soon I was sitting with him.. Alone.. In the dark.. In his basement.. Waiting for him to start an induction.

I was so nervous.  My palms were sweating.. I could barely breath.. My heart was thundering in my chest.. I wanted to run, flee.  I wanted to tell him the deal was off.  I wanted to feel it again.. That pleasure.. That freedom..

I stayed.

And he started to talk..

Like I said.. That night went on for hours.  Though to me it seemed much shorter.

I told you that we didn't have sex..  That I could trust Adam that far.  And Maybe I could, I'll never really know.  But he wasn't satisfied with just an intense and extensive trip into second base.

When my mind had started to clear, after he had finally stopped making me squeal caressing my breasts, I started to notice some strange.. Cravings..

At the time I was hardly thinking clearly, dazed, entranced, whatever you want to call it.  But looking back on it now I'm fairly sure as to what happened.  My feelings at the time though, were far more confusing.

It started gently, he was talking.. I was trying to remember how to work a bra, trying to put my shirt back on, but for some reason none of it made any sense.  Adam was saying something, but I wasn't paying attention, wasn't really listening.  I was much more focused on trying to get my arm through a strap, or trying to decipher how those tiny little hooks worked.. And in a moment of humiliation I'm sure I'll always remember, trying to figure out how to get my head through a suddenly much too small sleeve.

As I threw aside my top in disgust, I felt something strange.. I looked over at Adam, and saw him grinning out of the corner of my eye.  But really I was staring a bit lower.  I couldn't take my eyes off his underwear.  For the first time I was noticing how they were bulging, how hard he must be, and I couldn't look away..

I couldn't help myself.. It was like my arm was on auto pilot.  It reached out, my fingers grabbed his waistband.. and slowly.. slowly, they pulled it down.  I felt.. ashamed, excited, afraid.. all these emotions swirled around in my head.. But mostly I just felt.. Needy.

As the head of his member popped into view, I remember thinking.. Why am I doing this.. Why do I want this so badly.. But I just kept moving.  My head moved forward.. My mouth opened.. I started shaking, I was so afraid, but I wanted it so bad..

I hovered over it.. My voice making little gulping noises, and all the fear and frustration and anxiety came bubbling up.  I started to cry.  My tears dripped down my nose as I stared at his throbbing erection, and i strained.. Strained to take it in my mouth, pull back, something, anything.. but I hung there, unable to move, tears running down my face.

I think maybe Adam noticed, and thought that a tear stained blow job might not be as exciting as what he had in mind, because the next thing I remember I was dressed and sitting on the couch.  Adam was sitting in front of me holding my hands, telling me it was ok, and before I could even say a word the tears were pouring out of me, my chest was heaving with sobs.. And I was holding him to me..  Afraid.. Angry.. and.. Ashamed.. because I could still remember bits and pieces, and I didn't want to admit it then.. But I was still so very aroused..

That First Night

The events of that first night are still a bit of a haze to me.  I still don't know exactly what happened, what he did, what I did.

But I do know we didn't have sex.

I could trust him that far at least.

But I also know that even more than before, after that night hypnosis, and arousal were tightly tied together in my mind.  After that night.. I couldn't seem to separate them, even when I tried.

I do have some memories from those hours, alone in the basement, in the dark.  I remember his voice, talking me down.  I remember his touch, taking me deeper.  I remember drifting.. I was awake, I could hear him, I just didn't care what he was saying.

It was just so much easier to go along with it, to just do what he said without thinking.

When he asked, I took off my top..

When he asked.. I took off my bra..

When he asked.. I ..  touched myself, for him..

Then for me, because as he spoke, those haunting... glorious words I can't remember.. It started to feel good.. Then really good.. Then Really good.. and I didn't feel cold anymore.

I pinched, I groped.. no longer even pretending to listen, but then my hands pulled away.  I didn't want them to, but for whatever reason I couldn't stop them.  I just lay there, writhing, moaning, wanting to feel it again, that astounding, mind melting sensation of my hands on my breasts.

Then, it came to me, and in my haze I didn't think to suspect the source of the thought.. Adam had hands.. Adam had lips.. All I had to do was ask..

But it didn't come out that way of course.. It came out in a girly little sing song.. Begging, Pleading, for his hands.  I writhed, I ached, I begged.. I promised him things I would never have thought of, things I had never done, just to feel the sweet bliss of his touch.

I'd like to say I made him pay for that, but really, I never did.

When he finally did reach out, I swear it was like.. My mind just shut down.  I couldn't see, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but.. feel.. as if my entire world was reduced to a pair of hands, and my breasts.

Honestly.. I think that's the moment that did me in.  That's the feeling that condemned me to this life.  I think after that, I could never get away from this idea, that hypnosis made sex.. So much better, gave so much more pleasure.

Now if you'll excuse me.. I need to use my hands for something else for a while..

The Real Beginning

Where did I get this kink?
I don’t know exactly.. But I do know it’s always been there.  Like so many I think I first knew when I was very young, before even I was interested in Sex I knew I found something terribly fascinating in the Jungle Book, in the scenes with Kaa and those strange saturday morning cartoons with blank eyed Super Heroines.

I didn’t understand.. But even then I knew I was different.
But the first time I really understood was when I discovered the Internet, and stumbled on MCStories.. Of course in those days it probably wasn’t legal for me to be there, but I didn’t much care.  In a few weeks I had read every story on the site, and needed more.  I looked everywhere, but found little, and this.. thing inside me was stalled, until graduation.

You see the powers that be had decided to hire a stage hypnotist, which I now know is a fairly common practice at graduations.  How did that enter the popular culture?  That this was an innocent enough practice for a Dry Grad?  No Alcohol.. but other ways to alter your mind and make fools of yourselves are acceptable?

I watched from the back.. too afraid to go up on stage.. but I was so.. excited.  So exhilerated watching them.  Watching them dance.. grind.. sing.. anything that man wanted.  I was shaking.. Literally.. shaking.. standing off to the side, pulsing in time with the music, and I knew then I had to know that feeling, had to understand, had to try.

So I started to research, to read, not just the erotic this time but the legitimate research as well.  I read inductions, stage and theraputic, books, listened to lectures, watched demonstrations, and just ached for more.

I didn’t know what to do next, how to achieve that goal.  I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, too anxious to trust.  Then I found an opening.  In college, I was walking with a boy I was dating, I’ll call him Adam, and we passed a poster for a hypnosis show.  He said something about wanting to go.. and my heart started to hammer.  I must have been shaking when I told him I had always wanted to try it..

He said it sounded interesting, and he would give it a shot, but I could barely hear him.  I must have been flushed, and eager when I invited him over that night, with my barely concealed ulterior motives..

We sat downstairs, in the dim light, and I read through some inductions.  I tried, for hours I tried.. But I couldn’t seem to get him to go into a trance.  So finally he thought he’d try it with me.

I was trusting, I was careless, and I was a virgin.. But I was in love, and I couldn’t think ill of him.

I remember the induction.  Or most of it.  I remember feeling really good, and drifting on a cloud.

Then I remember being topless, but not caring.  For some reason it didn’t matter that he was caressing my breasts.  It didn’t matter that he had taken his pants off.  He was talking, but I couldn’t quite follow what he was saying.. All that mattered was that all of a sudden I really wanted him to keep playing with my breasts.. It felt so good, so amazing.. so right..

I remember waking up, and starting to say something, before I woke up again, and then again.  I couldn’t seem to get anything out before I woke up again.  I knew he must be putting me back into a trance, but I just couldn’t remember.  Each time I woke, something was different, but before I could even understand it, I was waking up again.  It was fast, so confusing..

I just felt like I was tumbling off a cliff, and wasn’t sure I wanted to catch myself..

A Beginning

Hi.. I thought I might create this, as an attempt at an outlet.
An attempt at finding a voice, as it were.
I’ve tried a few things, over the past few years.  I’ve created a store, products, things in a Virtual world, and found so many people there just aching to be used and manipulated.. It got, too intense.. I got too involved, and I’ve tried to pull away from that.
I started making images, stories, things to show others of my own particular kink.  But it doesn’t seem to be enough.  So I thought I might try sharing a bit.  Open the little corners of my mind that make me.. Me..

There will be truth.  There may be lies, fictions or fantasies.  But don't expect me to differentiate.

It’s likely to be a strange ride, but some of you might enjoy it, and I do hope you’ll let me know.