To kick things off. The first part of a new story.
Out of Control
Chapter 1 - Daydream in Blue
I remember the first time it happened. Or at least, I remember the first time I noticed it happening. Odds are good there were times before that, subtle things, things I try not to think about. I don’t like thinking about what I may have done, what damage I could have caused while unaware. And even if I did, I wouldn’t have a clue as to how to fix it. So I try not to think about it, one less pointless thing to be neurotic about.
I’m sorry. I know I’m rambling, it’s just that, I’ve never really talked about this before. I’m not really sure where to start, what to say. Should I bombard you with all my excuses about how it’s not my fault? Or try to explain how I didn’t mean for any of this to happen? I just got caught up in the excitement, and it didn’t really seem real, not at first. Or maybe I should just dive right in, and tell you what happened.
I suppose that would be best.
I was at Michigan Comprehensive, it was my second year and things were going ok. My classes were interesting, I had a few friends, dated a bit, but not too much, attended a few parties but not too many, skipped a few classes, but not too often. You know how it is.
I had a new roommate that year, Susan, after my old one flunked out. I wonder if I had something to do with that too. I wonder if I had something to do with a lot of things. Now, anyway. I never considered it then.
Anyway, Susan and I were getting chewed out by the RA. This stiff little boy pretending to be a man, lording his all too tiny authority over us for something as ridiculous as a hot plate. I know right? Total cliche. I’m being harsh I suppose. Really Roger wasn’t that bad, and in a normal circumstance I’m sure he was a decent guy. But he’s just one of those people who, give them a little authority and Poof, straight to their ego, and suddenly they thought they were cock of the walk.
Anyway, it started playing out the same way I’m sure it did in a thousand dorms in a thousand colleges across the country. He tromped about and postured, made threats, shot quick glances at our chests when he thought we weren’t looking, getting off on his bogus imagined authority. Susan was encouraging him of course, leaning into his glances just a bit, enough to give him a teasing view, but not enough to make it obvious. She was always doing things like that. She claimed to be a feminist, but was always the first to make her life a little easier by showing a little cleavage, or a little leg.
Anyway the lecture dragged on, as did the flirting and pretended accidental posing, and I guess my mind wandered a little. I wondered what it would be like if Susan really went for it, you know? Really used her body to get out of her problems instead of just flirting with the idea, I wondered what it would look like if she leaned into it a little more, opened another button or two, licked her lips and really dropped the hint instead of being subtle about it. I know, I’m terrible. I have a bit of a dirty mind, not really sure where it comes from, not getting out enough maybe? Anyway, I got a bit lost in the daydream, and I admit I got a little turned on by it, the thought of Susan being the slut she only flirted with being, or being more than a tease in a tight top and short skirt. The idea of living vicariously through her exploits, and her breasts letting us get away with whatever we wanted. And I guess I totally lost the thread of the conversation.
The next thing I knew it was over. Roger was telling us to make sure it never happened again, and we nodded contritely and walked ourselves out, and looking back on it I remember him being oddly flushed. Maybe I should have noticed then, but who would? Why would anyone’s mind go there right? It’s just so ridiculous.
We left the room and he shut the door behind us, and Susan seemed really excited for some reason. Giddy even. She gave me a grin and we said we’d meet up later and went our separate ways. I remember thinking it was weird, and remember wondering if she had been showing that much cleavage when we went in, and if she always swayed that much when she walked, but I chalked it up to being a little turned on by my daydream and didn’t think twice.
Maybe I should have. Maybe none of this would have happened if I had just payed more attention. I can’t help thinking that. Over and over I wonder what I could have done differently. Now that it’s too late.
I went back to our room, but I couldn’t get my mind off that naughty daydream. Off the thought of Susan using her feminine wiles. I think I actually thought that way then, with the words feminine wiles, almost afraid to think in detail. Not like now.
Anyway, the thought kept rattling around in my head, and I couldn’t concentrate on my homework. It was exciting, naughty, sort of deliciously sinful, so I decided to take a shower to cool down. But I didn’t cool down. The water and my hands slid over my body, cleaning, then scrubbing, then caressing, and the fantasy got more vivid, more explicit, as I grew more and more aroused. The shower head made it’s way between my thighs and my hands and thoughts grew bolder. I imagined her going back to Roger’s office, knocking timidly, stifling his confused protests by sliding to her knees and tugging open his pants. I imagined his confused and then passionate moans as she slid him into her mouth, reveling in the power her body gave her. I felt her lust and power and passion as she sucked him like a slut on her knees, knowing she could have anything she wanted from him, and felt his desperation as he grew closer and realized he would give her anything she wanted. I saw him falling back against his desk, the room in disarray, Susan rubbing herself under her skirt, enjoying her power and her own wanton surrender to her body. I saw him groan and explode, shuddering with each spasm as he pumped her mouth full of his seed. Susan, penitent and powerful on her knees on that cheap shag carpet, swallowing with an eager grin, feeling her own body tense and release at the taste of power. I came without a peep, muffling my squeals, not sure who else might be in the stalls next to me, and heard her whispering a few words about the hot plate as she tucked him back into his pants, and slunk out of the room with a seductive swaying of her ass, just to give him a last look.
I blushed and made sure I was still alone, cleaning up and wondering why I found that image so exciting. I had masturbated before of course, though not often, and never in somewhere I could be caught like that. It was strangely exciting, but more than that, I felt like I had discovered something new and glorious, but had no idea what it might be.
It was a very strange feeling.
It got even stranger as I walked back from the showers past the RA’s office, and saw Susan walking out looking proud as a peacock, giving me a little wink. She walked off before I could say a word, but I peaked in the office as I went by. The desk was a mess, things strewn everywhere, pencils dropped haphazardly on the floor, laptop shoved to one corner. Roger himself was laid out on an office chair, staring at the ceiling with a stupid smile on his face, belt half undone and shirt pulled out.
I was shocked, and confused to say the least. There it was, just like in my head, plus or minus a few details. Had Susan really been in there blowing the whiny little RA that had been our bane for months? What the hell had possessed her to do that? Maybe she had been even more turned on than me by her flirting in his office before. Maybe this was just a co-incidence. I figured that must be it. That I just clearly hadn’t known Susan as well as I thought.
To be honest. The thought crossed my mind that it wasn’t. Maybe I was psychic, and had witnessed the event rather than imagined it. Or even, maybe caused it. But I dismissed it quickly. I mean, who could really seriously entertain that they were controlling their roommate with their fantasies?
You would too right? Dismiss it offhand? No one thinks that they just made their friend and roommate perform a blow job by fantasizing about it. Right? But it wasn’t long before I started to realize otherwise, wasn’t long before, I started to enjoy it. And then it wasn’t long before I was running for my life.
