That First Night

The events of that first night are still a bit of a haze to me.  I still don't know exactly what happened, what he did, what I did.

But I do know we didn't have sex.

I could trust him that far at least.

But I also know that even more than before, after that night hypnosis, and arousal were tightly tied together in my mind.  After that night.. I couldn't seem to separate them, even when I tried.

I do have some memories from those hours, alone in the basement, in the dark.  I remember his voice, talking me down.  I remember his touch, taking me deeper.  I remember drifting.. I was awake, I could hear him, I just didn't care what he was saying.

It was just so much easier to go along with it, to just do what he said without thinking.

When he asked, I took off my top..

When he asked.. I took off my bra..

When he asked.. I ..  touched myself, for him..

Then for me, because as he spoke, those haunting... glorious words I can't remember.. It started to feel good.. Then really good.. Then Really good.. and I didn't feel cold anymore.

I pinched, I groped.. no longer even pretending to listen, but then my hands pulled away.  I didn't want them to, but for whatever reason I couldn't stop them.  I just lay there, writhing, moaning, wanting to feel it again, that astounding, mind melting sensation of my hands on my breasts.

Then, it came to me, and in my haze I didn't think to suspect the source of the thought.. Adam had hands.. Adam had lips.. All I had to do was ask..

But it didn't come out that way of course.. It came out in a girly little sing song.. Begging, Pleading, for his hands.  I writhed, I ached, I begged.. I promised him things I would never have thought of, things I had never done, just to feel the sweet bliss of his touch.

I'd like to say I made him pay for that, but really, I never did.

When he finally did reach out, I swear it was like.. My mind just shut down.  I couldn't see, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but.. feel.. as if my entire world was reduced to a pair of hands, and my breasts.

Honestly.. I think that's the moment that did me in.  That's the feeling that condemned me to this life.  I think after that, I could never get away from this idea, that hypnosis made sex.. So much better, gave so much more pleasure.

Now if you'll excuse me.. I need to use my hands for something else for a while..