The Real Beginning

Where did I get this kink?
I don’t know exactly.. But I do know it’s always been there.  Like so many I think I first knew when I was very young, before even I was interested in Sex I knew I found something terribly fascinating in the Jungle Book, in the scenes with Kaa and those strange saturday morning cartoons with blank eyed Super Heroines.

I didn’t understand.. But even then I knew I was different.
But the first time I really understood was when I discovered the Internet, and stumbled on MCStories.. Of course in those days it probably wasn’t legal for me to be there, but I didn’t much care.  In a few weeks I had read every story on the site, and needed more.  I looked everywhere, but found little, and this.. thing inside me was stalled, until graduation.

You see the powers that be had decided to hire a stage hypnotist, which I now know is a fairly common practice at graduations.  How did that enter the popular culture?  That this was an innocent enough practice for a Dry Grad?  No Alcohol.. but other ways to alter your mind and make fools of yourselves are acceptable?

I watched from the back.. too afraid to go up on stage.. but I was so.. excited.  So exhilerated watching them.  Watching them dance.. grind.. sing.. anything that man wanted.  I was shaking.. Literally.. shaking.. standing off to the side, pulsing in time with the music, and I knew then I had to know that feeling, had to understand, had to try.

So I started to research, to read, not just the erotic this time but the legitimate research as well.  I read inductions, stage and theraputic, books, listened to lectures, watched demonstrations, and just ached for more.

I didn’t know what to do next, how to achieve that goal.  I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, too anxious to trust.  Then I found an opening.  In college, I was walking with a boy I was dating, I’ll call him Adam, and we passed a poster for a hypnosis show.  He said something about wanting to go.. and my heart started to hammer.  I must have been shaking when I told him I had always wanted to try it..

He said it sounded interesting, and he would give it a shot, but I could barely hear him.  I must have been flushed, and eager when I invited him over that night, with my barely concealed ulterior motives..

We sat downstairs, in the dim light, and I read through some inductions.  I tried, for hours I tried.. But I couldn’t seem to get him to go into a trance.  So finally he thought he’d try it with me.

I was trusting, I was careless, and I was a virgin.. But I was in love, and I couldn’t think ill of him.

I remember the induction.  Or most of it.  I remember feeling really good, and drifting on a cloud.

Then I remember being topless, but not caring.  For some reason it didn’t matter that he was caressing my breasts.  It didn’t matter that he had taken his pants off.  He was talking, but I couldn’t quite follow what he was saying.. All that mattered was that all of a sudden I really wanted him to keep playing with my breasts.. It felt so good, so amazing.. so right..

I remember waking up, and starting to say something, before I woke up again, and then again.  I couldn’t seem to get anything out before I woke up again.  I knew he must be putting me back into a trance, but I just couldn’t remember.  Each time I woke, something was different, but before I could even understand it, I was waking up again.  It was fast, so confusing..

I just felt like I was tumbling off a cliff, and wasn’t sure I wanted to catch myself..