Fear and Loathing..

She dragged me through the throng, not explaining, not listening. Head down, not thinking about it, one foot in front of the other, as if she didn't want to stop and think about what she was doing. She dragged me up the rickety stairs and into one of the small bedrooms, pulled me inside, turned around an shut the door behind her. Leaning on it. Shoulders bent, as if afraid to turn around and look at me.

I didn't know what to do.
Didn't know what she wanted.

The seconds ticked by. Then minutes. I don't know how long we stood there like that before I finally broke the silence. I started to ask what was the matter, and she cut me off.

"Hypnotize me.."

That's all she said. Just those two words.

I was stunned to say the least.

Another endless expanse of time went by before I managed to frame words.. which weren't quite as eloquent as I might have wanted, and probably consisted of something like "huh? wha? why?" which hardly mattered anyway as she interrupted me again, spinning around to stare at me with those big blue eyes, stuttering, sounding like tears were mere moments away. "Don't.. Don't.. Just.. Just do it. Please.. Ask me later"

I didn't know what to do. She was in no mood to hear any explanations or questions.. I just.. Nodded, not really sure how I was going to manage it with her so anxious. But I nodded, and gestured for her to sit down on the bed.

I laid her back, marvelling at how anxious she seemed, at how she was almost shaking. And started talking, calmly. Well, as calmly as I could with this gorgeous girl alone with me in a room, practically begging for me to delve into her mind.

It took.. well.. I don't really know how long, talking to her softly in the dark. But I finally managed to get her to calm down, to get her breathing to slow, and her eyes to close, as i listened to her relaxing.

After so terribly long.. What felt like an eternity.. I managed to get up the courage to ask. To ask her why she wanted me to hypnotize her here, alone, away from the others, away from her boyfriend.

Her brow furrowed, she shifted uncomfortably, mumbled something under her breath. It was obvious how uncomfortable she found the topic.. So we kept going.. Taking her deeper and deeper, relaxing her, reassuring her, reminding her how safe it was to talk to me, how good it felt to lighten her burden. Until finally she started to explain.

She couldn't respond properly to her boyfriend. She told me.
She wanted to go down on him, to return the favor, but she couldn't.
And she wanted me to help her.

Wasn't that wonderful. A hypnotized, helpless, amazingly hot girl at my fingertips.. And she wanted me to teach her how to give a blow job.

Story of my life.

We went over what the problem was, she explained how the sex was great, and how much she loved him, but that she just couldn't get into oral. Didn't find it sexy, the giving it at least. And how badly she wished that she did, so that she could return the favor.

I asked her what she wanted to do about it. And she told me that she wanted a trigger, like she had seen me give outside. That would make her want it. A trigger that she could give to her boyfriend.

I told her how I thought it was a bad idea, how he might abuse something like that.. But she was sure. She insisted. She was adamant.

So I sighed. A tear in my eye now. Remembering back at how poorly this path had gone for me. Hating myself for getting into this, for how badly I wished she had said something else, despite her boyfriend. And got to work.